


in hindsight

by curtailed



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, College, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Fantasizing, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Humanstuck, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Pining, Riding, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22981411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curtailed/pseuds/curtailed
Summary: In hindsight, this friends-with-benefits thing was a terrible idea.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls dont feel afraid to leave a comment!

In hindsight, this friends-with-benefits thing was a terrible idea.

It's an implicit agreement somewhere that he has to initiate it first: you can't even stop by his room nowadays, not when there's the chair you grinded him against and the shower he sucked you off in and the bed where you ram him countless times into the mattress. It's fucking _awkward,_ like some bizarre museum of sex that just one day popped up in his room as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Look," he had said, sitting cross-legged on the bed, "I broke up with ED. You broke up with Terezi. Do you see where I'm getting at?"

"You need someone to stick your dick into."

He rolls his eyes at you. You won't ever confess it, but staring at his eyes always fascinated you -- one pale, almost eerie blue, the other a dark rich brown. There's a lot of things about him that fascinate you, really -- the way he let his hair grow last year, letting it shag down all across his head, the way his tongue piercing gleamed slightly whenever he parted his teeth to laugh, the way he'd rubs his hands sort of awkwardly together when he has to sustain eye contact for long. He's no longer the bag of bones you've known since you were a kid; he's _grown,_ thinness somehow transforming into an appealing lankiness.

"You can stick it in me if you want," he had said, leaning against the pillows and placing his bare foot in your lap. "Really. I'm up for all grabs."

"You not getting laid doesn't equate us getting laid together, asshole!"

"If you know someone besides TZ, let me know."

And you didn't. Relationships, you've learned to your eternal disappointment, were complicated and stupid as fuck. Always had to maintain that strange, volatile balance, always had to be on your toes on how much you could trust or comfort -- and you liked Terezi. You've always liked her. 

Still, when you get Sollux's message --

my place toniight then?

FF'2 out of town.

Terezi just...doesn't appear in your mind. Not like tonight, where when the moment the door slams he has you pressed against the dresser, and you'll never get over on how _fucking good_ he kisses, like he's about to die and devours your lips and tongue with this razor-edge ferocity that sends heat straight down to your groin. In contrast, his hands are almost gentle on your shoulders, tracing over your shoulder blades as he reaches down to peel off your turtleneck.

"Stop being so fucking horny," you snap, and there's a bit more bite in your voice than you intended. 

He draws off a little, arms still caging you against the dresser. You -- you stare up at the ceiling, waiting for him to start necking you or maybe suck your cock, let you blow your load all over his face, and then the next morning you'll leave bruised and battered and he'll be blissed out in a puddle of his own drool and it'll repeat. It'll repeat until the day you leave this shitty place, until one day he tells you he's tired of you and it was fun and all, but -- well -- not really. Greener pastures, etc. etc.

"KK?"

You might as well make it count, then. 

There's a strange glimmer in his eyes when he decides to back off completely, unnerved at your silence, and you take the opportunity to yank him close by the collar. Break _him_ into pieces. See how he likes it. You're practically nose-to-nose with him now, and you can smell the faint scent of cheap soap off of his skin. Underneath it is his own smell, something almost salty, and you remember it from all the nights you and him cuddled in the treehouse back home and the times he would game with you, resting his head in your lap, letting you absentmindedly brush his hair.

You can't get sentimental _right now_ \-- you tighten your grip, let your lips brush his like he's made of porcelain. He _knows_ what you want. It's 50/50 these days, choosing who's going to completely the fuck the life out of the other, and you're in the mood to _hurt._

"Karkat," he whispers against your mouth.

You kiss him like you mean anything to him. "Get on your knees beside the bed," you tell him, shoving him away a little. "Don't -- just don't talk, okay? Don't fucking say anything."

You don't see his expression when he turns away. Instead, you brace yourself against the wall, unzip your pants and let your hand crawl into your boxers. You stroke lazily at your cock, heat already stirring in the depths of your gut like a coiled snake. You imagine Sollux, with his thin lips stretched around your dick and tonguing at your balls, the way his eyes go all hazy and half-lidded whenever you pull at his hair, letting you fuck his throat like he's your personal cock sleeve. You imagine him on his hands and knees, ball gag stuffed in his mouth, letting drool and tears drip on the pillows as you slam into him over and over, letting warm skin slap thigh --

Okay. Reel it in. That's enough fuel for you to blow a good load.

Sure enough, he's kneeling demurely at the bedside, still fully clothed. You walk into his room and close the door softly. He's -- perfect, with his awkward limbs and the way he stares at you in trepidation, the way his lips part slightly as his gaze rests on your crotch. You don't hesitate in unbuttoning your pants, pulling out your already half-hard cock.

"Come on, then." You pitch your voice lowly, almost kindly. "You know what to do."

And he does, judging by the alacrity he crawls to you with -- his hands skim upward, caressing your thigh, drawing the rest of your boxers and pants down. For a moment he glimpses back up at you, eyes shining even in the darkness, and then he kisses the tip of your flushed-pink cock.

_Shit._

It's seconds before he's licking sloppily against it, tongue piercing somehow rubbing the _best_ of your nerves even as his lips graze to the underside of your balls, his nose brushing your pubes. You still have to work on him deepthroating one day. He kisses and nips and at one point just mouths at your balls, until the heat's sharp in your stomach and you want to -- you _want_ to -- you glance down, trying not to shoot your come all over his face -- even if that's the fucking hottest thing you could do to him -- and realize his hips are thrusting slightly, desperate for a source of friction. His hand's already creeping down his abdomen.

"Nice try, dickwipe." You press the arch of your foot over the bulge instead; the whine that escapes from his throat makes you stifle your own moan. He's so _fucking hot_ when he's like this. You roll your foot up and down over the swell, listening to him trying and failing to reel in his gasps. All the while he placidly mouths at your cock, although you notice he's beginning to breathe heavily through his nose. 

"You want it that bad, dude? Speak up."

"Y-Yeah," he tries to whisper almost reverently. There's no need for preamble; he just -- envelopes his mouth around your cock, as much as he can take, and then you're fisting his hair and resisting the urge with all your will to not fuck his throat raw until he chokes. It's all warm, wet heat thrumming through your every nerves, and he -- he sucks like a _pro,_ dragging the piercing over the best spots, tongue lapping up at your precome like it's the elixir of life. He stares up at you the whole time, eyes desperate, pleading, his hips now grinding roughly against the palm of his hand, and the moan that escapes you has him shudder --

" _Fuck,_ " you mutter, pulling out of him at the last second. One more moment and you would've been gone all over, but it still feels like someone lopped off your arm. Or your dick. "Okay. _Okay._ Let me get on the bed first."

Your pants and socks are kicked off and flung to the corner of the room; your boxers are a lost cause, your cock so hard it's borderline painful. You strip them off gingerly, tossing them onto the carpet. Sollux, meanwhile, hasn't move from where he's knelt, casually palming himself through his jeans. Lastly, you practically tear off your turtleneck, instinctively shivering when the chill hits your bare skin. Sollux eyes you hungrily. You climb onto the bed and carefully lay yourself onto his unchanged blankets, self-conscious of every inch of your skin.

"Get over here," you mutter.

Sollux, being the single-minded genius he is, has the foresight to pull out the lube bottle from the drawers. He doesn't waste time in straddling you, the bed dipping below your combined weights, his lips pink and swollen from blowing you. A strange, dizzying warmth rushes into your chest. 

He doesn't need your instructions anymore. He's stripping now, oddly graceful and cavalier about it as his clothes join yours on the carpet. He braces himself on his knees again, knees digging on either side of your hips, and when you purposefully rock against the cleft of his ass he visibly shudders. A liberal amount of lube is messily squirted over his finers; he doesn't waste time in probing one finger into his asshole, his entire frame tensing and shaking as he fingers himself open. The urge to just _raw_ into him nearly makes you white out.

Two fingers. Now he's actively moaning, broken sounds tumbling out of his mouth as he braces forward with one hand on your shoulder. You reach up and rub at his nipple, feeling it pebble under your touch. You flick a thumbnail over it and he lets out a half-gasp, half-scream, his thighs trembling violently. He's flushed this blotchy, pale red that spreads all the way down to his chest.

Slowly he withdraws his fingers, slathering the rest of the lube over your cock. You hiss a little at the skin contact; it's colder than you thought it'd be, and your hands clench at the blankets. You'll help him wash them if you need to.

Then he starts to _lower_ himself onto your cock, inch by excruciating inch, until this tight, hot warmth tightens around your prick and the rush makes arousal pound in every nerve in your body, and -- and slowly he begins rocking, his aroused sex prodding against your stomach, him making this tiny grunting sound each time something brushes against his prostrate just right --

_Enough._

You're grabbing him. You're grabbing him by the hips and you -- you let him fuck himself upon you, use him as a toy, watch as his quiet moan turns into a hoarse gasp when you let your hips buck, slamming into something deep and warm, and your thrusts must be doing something right because his eyes are rolling back and he's panting heavily, his legs straining as he lifts himself almost to the point of letting you pull out before sinking himself all the way back down, deeper than even possible with a dildo. He's just so _good_ and _warm_ and you can't help it, you clamp down his wrists and you tug him forward, tug him until his mouth finds yours and you're kissing sloppily. You pry open his lips with your tongue and lick at his teeth and feel the piercing brush in the inner walls of your mouth, and you kiss him posessively, claiming his mouth, swallowing down his sounds. You can't stop fucking him, can't stop ramming into him over and over as he moans against your lips, hands shaking besides your head, and he lets you bite at his jaw and throat, tonguing his pulse until he full-out starts to shake.

"KK -- "

You can't stop it. You _thrust_ into him and he screams, tossing his head back even as he braces himself against your chest. You do it again, because it feels _fucking wonderful_ and you wonder what you did to have you rail your best friend like a complete slut, because even with Terezi you've never felt arousal so painful before, never plowed into her the way you do to him, never let her sink and fuck herself open on your cock like he's doing, this terrible, beautiful ragged sob dragged deep out of his chest as he groans without shame. Sweat plasters his hair to the side of his head. You do it again, and again, until his cock's purple and you _know_ \-- 

you come first. You come thinking of your best friend in the world swallowing down your dick, you think of you eating his ass out and him fucking you against the wall and you tying him to the headboard, face-fucking him until he almost choked on your jizz, and the times he bent you over the counter and spread you out and fingered you until you couldn't see straight -- and he's your _best friend._ You've known him since you wore diapers. You know he sticks his tongue out when he's thinking and you know exactly what games he likes and what music blares through his headphones at certain times of the day, you know he hates climbing trees but loves to skip stones across the water, how his fingers are like a pianist's as it flies across the keyboard -- you know how he snores, these soft, broken grunts peppered with mumbling, and how he eats left-handed and taps his foot whenever he chews on something for too long --

You can't even differentiate between shame and arousal anymore. You watch come dribble out of his hole as he slowly lifts off your cock, wincing slightly. He's still hard. It doesn't take long before he's jerking it furiously, twisting his fingers at the tip, and his come splatters hotly across your stomach.

"Gross," you mumble, too tired and heartsick to care. It's a few seconds before you reach back into the drawer, snagging some wipes to clean off your stomach.

"Whatever."

You toss the wipes into the wastebasket. He slumps down next to you, not giving a shit on the liquid now oozing down his thigh. You wonder if he wants to cuddle. Sometimes he gets all touchy-feely, resting his head against your chest, entwining your legs with his -- and each time you disentangle as soon as you can, not wanting to be choked by the surge of _feelings_ stewing in your chest. Tonight he sort of just...laces his hand with yours, his palm still sticky, finger brushing the interior of yours.

"Hey," he mutters, "you don't hafta go yet, you know. Just stay a bit."

"Dude, I'm serious -- " and if your voice is shriller and sharper than usual, that's just your imagination. "I have class tomorrow."

"C'mon, man."

And you do. You really want to, you want to crawl over by his side and curl up like a cat and run your hands over him, feel his warmth through the thinness of the blankets -- but you wrench away from him instead, your mouth dry as sandpaper. Something's hollow and vague in your stomach, like you swallowed something wrong, but you don't roll out of bed just yet. You resolutely face away from him instead, staring at the wall.

"Karkat..."

"I'm tired as fuck, Sollux. Go the hell to sleep." You aren't -- biologically, yeah, but your mind pounds and pulses until you want to scream -- and Sollux doesn't fight with you on the issue. You hear him shuffling around a little, probably trying to avoid the wettest places, and in a little while those same soft snores fill up the silence ringing in your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some good ol solkat smut. 
> 
> ch. 2 coming out tmrw!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i CANNOT write people sextalking to save my life 
> 
> also happy super late V- Day everyone
> 
> Thanks for reading! Again, don't feel afraid to leave a comment -- I always love reading comments :)

kk

kk

ii want two talk.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING CLASS, YOU DIPSHIT. WHAT COULD YOU FUCKING POSSIBLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

but ii'm 2o aloooone iin my bed, iit'2 2o cold and empty.

al2o, you left one of your 2ock2 here.

I REALLY THINK I'LL LIVE WITHOUT IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

you could al2o ju2t later come by and piick iit up.

RIGHT. OF COURSE. IT WON'T END WITH ANY SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY, NATURALLY.

....

look, ii realiize ii'm 2ometiime2 a2 horny of a ba2tard a2 humanly po22iible, but ii don't 2ub2ii2t on a daiily diiet of gettiing completely pounded each niight.

OH, YEAH? SO WHAT'S THE OCCASION?

I CAN LIVE WITHOUT MY FUCKING SOCK.

or maaaybe we could ju2t hang out.

AGAIN, SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY.

STEP UP YOUR GAME, DUDE. THESE COME-ONS ARE EMBARRASSING.

....

okay thii2 wa2 a 2tupiid iidea.

twinArmageddons [TA] has disconnected from chat

WAIT, WHAT?

WHAT THE SHIT DO YOU MEAN, A STUPID IDEA?

...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

You're still staring down at your phone when the TA prowls around, clearing her throat sharply, Nothing beats the morning like Aranea glaring down at you as if you stepped on her pet tarantula. You stow the phone away hastily.

_Stupid idea?_

Did he mean this whole...thing you got? And you -- you expect it. Something like this -- between you two, at least -- can't feed off of just sex, it needs something _more;_ but you can't name it and he doesn't feel it at all and here you're staring at your desk like an idiot, remembering how he held your hands last night, and you wish you...let him hold you. Touch you gently. Treasure you.

God, _fuck,_ you're the embarrassing one here. Here you are, pining after him like some middle-schooler with a yes-or-no checklist, and you _know_ he doesn't feel that way for you. You'd know. You're the master of romance here. If he did, he would've done something after so many _goddamn_ years, instead of fucking around with Feferi or Eridan. He would've been jealous when you asked Dave to prom, or Terezi to be your girlfriend, or...really, _anything._ Any reaction at all.

Jesus, you're pathetic.

hey kk where are you now.

ii know you're done wiith your cla22e2.

ii'm droppiing off your 2ock.

MASTURBATING IN MY BEDROOM, WHY?

dang, and you diidn't iinviite me over?

two bad ii'm iin2iide your room and there'2 fuckiing no one here.

WHY I EVER GAVE YOU A KEY IS STILL BEYOND THE CAPABILITIES OF MY THOUGHT PROCESSES.

but actually where are you.

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

UM.

TEREZI'S PLACE.

....uh huh.

that'2 why ii'm 2eeing her and VK walkiing around the 2chool garden2 riight now.

I'M AT DAVE'S, THEN.

and dave and jade riight be2iide2 them.

JOHN'S.

and wiith roxy.

MEENAH'S.

and wiith aranea.

IS THERE ANYONE THAT'S NOT FUCKING THERE?

nope.

even your 2tiick-up-hii2-a22 brother ii2 wiith ED'2 creepiier lookaliike.

2o ju2t u2, ii gue22.

;)

...AND WHAT IS THE SPECIAL FUCKING CEREMONY TODAY?

iit'2 valentiine'2 day, you braiinle22 geniiu2.

OH.

diid you actually completely forgot about that?

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You hunker down further in the back of the library, your hands shaking slightly as you type back in your phone.

GUESS YOU'LL ASK ED, RIGHT?

what.

DON'T "WHAT" AT ME, DUDE.

IT'S A PERFECTLY SIMPLE SOLUTION.

oh yeah, plea2e 2hare iit wiith the cla22room here.

LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING.

JUST SPEND THE DAY WITH SOMEONE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT, OKAY?

carcinoGeneticist [CG[ has disconnected from the chat

Valentine's Day. RIght. You wonder if you can go couple-hunting -- oh _wow,_ look at that, right in the fucking library there's Rose and Kanaya sucking the sappy straight out of a Hallmark card. You leave the library as fast as you can.

Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid._

You decide to retreat into the cafeteria instead. It's crowded to the brim, sickeningly-sweet couples everywhere draped over each other like blankets, and you -- buy a soggy sandwich instead, retreat into the very corner. It tastes like absolute shit. Or maybe that's just your lack of appetite. In the very edge of the room, it's almost quiet -- no one else is sitting here, practically absorbed into the walls.

karkat.

WHAT NOW?

LET ME GUESS: OPERATION ED WAS A SUCCESS, WASN'T IT?

where are you?

...LUNCHROOM.

liike iin the very corner?

FUCK YOU.

I GUESS.

okay.

and there'2 no one around?

YOU'RE BEING SUPER FUCKING OBVIOUS HERE, CAPTOR.

twinArmageddons [TA] sent a picture checkthisout.jpg

I'M NOT OPENING THAT.

yeah, that'2 faiir.

but iif you want two, ii mean....

It's not the first time you've messed around with him on cyber, and definitely not the first time in a public place, but each time it sends a rush of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 

You open up the picture.

Predictably, it's Sollux reclining on...your bed. He's wearing your undershirt, his collarbones sharp, his neck still bruised with the hickeys from last night. One hand's presumably holding the phone, the other is --

_Jesus_ fuck. He looks so _debauched_ like that, caught in the image of stroking up his sex, his eyes half-lidded and his mouth hanging open slightly. It's the way his gaze is focused on the camera -- on _you_ \-- that makes heat pool in your stomach, the way your undershirt just fits him perfectly, claiming him as yours --

wow.

hehheh.

what el2e do you want me to do?

A thousand possibilites race in your head.

I WANT YOU TO KEEP TOUCHING YOURSELF, OKAY?

what do you want me to do to you?

fuck, ii....

can we call?

You're not one to cockblock yourself; in seconds you've got your phone pressed to your ear, trying to resist the urge to masturbate right out in the open.

"Karkat," Sollux breathes, and you can _hear_ something wet smack in the distance. His voice are roughened vocals when he's aroused, all nasalness gone, and you can imagine him speaking intimately into your ear, fingers cupping your chin.

Okay. You _have_ to move somewhere else. Your sandwich is unceremoniously abandoned, and in seconds you're hightailing the fuck out from the cafeteria and into the nearest supply closet you can find. You lock the door, praying to God that no one walks by at this time.

"Alright," you mutter back, listening to him gasp softly. You unbutton your jeans awkwardly, let your fingers trace your crotch through your boxers. "What are you thinking of right now?"

"I..."

"Come on, don't be shy -- "

"You," he whispers, his voice shaking. "I'm thinking that -- that you've got me -- I don't know -- "

"Bent over? On your hands and knees?"

"Tied to the bed," he mumbles, and _holy shit_ you swear you've never felt yourself harden so quickly before. Maybe it's each little sigh that punctuates his words as he (presumably) continues to stroke at himself, and you imagine his slender fingers ghosting over the shaft, thumb flicking the head, his throat bared and flushed. "Maybe...maybe you've -- agh, _fuck,_ Karkat -- "

"Maybe I what?" You barely recognize your own voice. "Maybe I'm -- maybe I'm about to fucking pound into you, you ever think about that?"

"All the time," he says softly, almost like a confession, and your throat seizes up. This whole thing feels so _intimate,_ like you're physically lying besides him, listening to his voice caress your ear. "I'm probably trying to pull against, ah, the ropes, and you'd -- " he inhales a little, and your stomach tightens -- "you'd choke me. Slap me."

"Holy _shit,_ dude." He's actively breathing hard now, and your dick is as hard as a sledgehammer. Some dark, poisonous part of you simmers in your gut, and you find yourself saying, "maybe I'm not doing any of that shit instead, you weird fucker. Maybe I'm going to stuff my fingers down your mouth."

" _Fuck._ " There's a slurping sound, and you realize he's doing that right now -- and the thought should gross you out, probably getting his own come on his tongue, but then he makes this pathetic whine and your whole body strums with nerves. 

"Keep doing that," you say lowly. You feel high, exhilirated. "Keep imagining I'm fucking you with my fingers, I'll, I'll do that until you start to choke. Until you start to -- "

He whimpers.

"Yeah, like that. _Fucking_ just like that." You don't even know you're stroking yourself until you are, dragging your fingers on the underside of your shaft. Warmth crawls up and fills your head with haziness. "You do that, I'll stop. I'll open up your legs, you greedy asshole. I'll -- "

"You w-won't have to prepare me," he stutters. "I -- I already did. In your bed."

It's possible in real life that he actually did, too, and you imagine him reclining against the pillows, scissoring two fingers inside his asshole, making a wet, gaspy sound each time he brushes against something right. You fist more desperately at your cock. He's probably breathing in the scent of your blankets right now like a creep, playing with his nipples, imagining you're sucking on them, flicking your tongue over the nubs --

"I'm fucking into you." No buildup, no foreplay -- you try to tell him more of what you want, but by then your voice is trembling so hard you barely understand yourself. He probably gets it, anyhow, if the volume of his moans are any indication. It's just imagination buoying both of you to your peaks: you're bending back his leg until his knee almost brushes his chest, letting your cock sink right _into_ his tight heat over and over, a thousand times better than your own fist, and each time you pulverize him he'll be shaking and thrashing, ropes straining the headboard, you'll just -- just _kiss_ him, like it's the most natural thing in the world, just tonguefuck him and devour his lips whole and suck on his neck, his collarbones, your hips pistoning into his like an animal in heat. It's too much for you, too much, and if you just idly touch his cock you can imagine his face when he comes, the way every muscle on his face tightens and sags like an elastic band, hot white ropes of come splattering across his stomach and chest, and you can't _stop_ yourself -- you pound him through his orgasm until your own hits you with the strength of a truck, hard enough your vision whites out --

"Wow." It's Sollux that breaks the silence first, and you're left in the dim light of the closet, staring at the white splattered all over your fingers, your ears still buzzing. Some of it drips onto the floor. His breathing is more labored now, more controlled, but in your own ministrations you heard him give a single, hoarse sob as he moans out your name, and that was what had pushed you over the edge. Your high's quickly fading, your arms and legs shaking from soreness. "Wow, that was...something."

"Definitely," you rasp out.

"Heheh, yeah." There's a shifting sound from the other end, like he's moving around in the blankets. "That...that was really amazing, just throwing it out there."

"Yeah?"

"For sure." The sound of paper hitting a wastebasket reminds you that you should clean up too. There's a roll of paper towels in reach; methodically you wipe off as much as you can from your hands, and you use another piece to mop up the floor. As an afterthought, you sprinkle the interior a little with the cleaner spray, hoping it'll mask up the smell of your sex and sweat. All the while your phone's pinned between your ear and your shoulder, and you let yourself sink into the warm, hazy comfort of Sollux sounds. It's a like a background radio.

"I hear that spray, KK," he says, finally ceasing his movements. "You're definitely in a closet somewhere."

"Sue me, I don't want to get arrested in public for my non-existent exhibitionist kink."

"Lies and slander."

You shift uncomfortably; neither of you have ever been much of a post-sex, pillow-talk chattering person, and this aftermath is starting to strain your boundaries. Soon the hormones will fade, and he'll probably hang up first and you'll be left in the closet just staring at your phone and _wishing,_ somehow, that it was all different --

"You're still near the cafeteria, though."

"Um -- " you cough slightly. "Yeah. Like, the closest closet, I don't really know fucking know." You hate how your voice breaks and chops up your words, you _hate_ how you fumble around so much, how much importance he bears to you and how it's entirely false the other way around. 

"Okay." And he hangs up.

You don't cry. _You don't cry._ That'd be stupidly pathetic, for one, right after he helped you get off. You focus on making the closet impeccable instead, scrubbing every corner until it's cleaner than when you enter it. A darkened stain on the wall suggests to you that other people might've used this room for the same purpose you had. You don't think of your best friend, you blot him out of your mind, you have to _keep cleaning_ or you'll know you won't ever leave the room.

Still, your hands throb from the chemicals by the time you're done, and you carefully return everything to place. Maybe you just need to walk around the gardens for a bit, avoid all the myriad couples Sollux had rattled off, just enjoy the sunlight and zephyr for a while. You brace on the wall to stand up, wincing at how your legs tremble.

You press your ear to the door -- no audible footsteps, no voices. It's clear out there. You open it slowly, dreading its inevitable creak --

" _FUCKING SHIT,_ SOLLUX!"

"What the fuu -- shhh!"

Sollux is somehow _standing right outside,_ looking incredibly winded. His chest is heaving hard, sweat trickling down the sides of his face, his glasses crooked, but he's beaming this huge, dopey smile that somehow shows off his sharpened canines. The sight makes you blush slightly. You try to busy yourself dusting off your pants, your face warming up further.

"If you wanted to get attention that way, bro, you definitely got it."

"Shut up," you mumble. You don't miss how his eyes flick down to the front of your pants, or how his grin widens. "What are you doing here?"

"What d'you think I'm doing? I had to run all the way here, so you can thank me later for actually going over ten mph."

"The only time you exercise is when you stand up to shower, you shitstain."

He groans in annoyance. "KK -- come on. It's V-day."

"Yeah, I _know_ it's not Virgin's Day. Try again."

"Karkat," he begins flatly, "you have to be the most densest, adorable piece of shit I've ever met -- " he scoots closer to you, and you stand your ground, wondering what he's about to do --

"Uh..." you stare stupidly as both of his hands clasp around your own. He's -- Jesus, he's _smiling_ like his face will split if it gets any wider. There's this faint pink flush creeping up to his cheeks. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, you dumbass?"

"Looks like you're holding my hand."

"Yeah, I am," he challenges. "And you're not pulling away."

You're...you're not, you realize, staring at how his bony-knuckled hands enclose around yours, how they fit seamlessly with your own lines and joints. His palm is dry as it brushes against yours, and something sparks up your spine from the touch. "What -- what are you trying to do here, dude?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Yes, please, enlighten me you fuckface."

He doesn't say a single word. He just leans it and -- pecks you, you guess, a smattering of lips against your own -- and all of your kisses before has nothing on how hard you're shaking when he draws away. His eyes search your face for a moment, and he _understands,_ he understands neither of you are good with words and maybe you can't exactly label what the hell going's on but he means _so much_ to you, so much more than you'd ever think he will, and at this moment you never, ever, want to let him go.

Slowly, so slowly, he lifts your hand and kisses at your knuckles, breath tickling your skin. It's so disgustingly textbook _cliche_ and you swear your heart's going to burst from sheer dizziness.

"Sollux -- "

"We could, um, go outside. With everyone else. Maybe." He lifts his head, shrugs and coughs a little, his voice dry. "Or we could, like...chill at your place. Like, actual chill, not innuendo. Play some games and stuff."

"Like a date."

When it's not his usual nasal laugh, Sollux's laughter genuinely lights up the entire room. "You're so fucking... _you,_ KK," he says almost softly, and when he gently tugs you after him -- positioning you to his side, your hands clasped tightly -- you don't think you've ever smiled so hard before.

And you don't mind at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok uhh so for extra bits the other pairings prob would be john/roxy, rose/kanaya, dave/jade, jane/jake, dirk/hal, terezi/vriska, gamzee/tavros, cronus/kankri, meenah/aranea, meulin/kurloz, latula/mituna, horuss/rufioh, porrim/damara, nepeta/equius, and (out of town) aradia/feferi. Eridan remains a loner or gets the gangbang lay he always wanted.


End file.
